Eat. Drink. Listen. Read. Converse.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Annoying Phrases & Expressions

It works or that works for me instead of simply,  "yes," or "OK."

Absolutely, again, instead of the simple, unobtrusive "yes."

It is what it is.  huh?  This seems to be used to express the idea that something cannot be changed, or that we must accept something the way it is, but what a silly way to do that.

Put myself out there, as in to express one's feelings or opinions.

Comfortable in my skin-- ridiculous.  There's no time in which one hasn't been in one's skin--how could you not be comfortable in it. It's not as if we can be in anyone else's skin, anyway.


More later


One Man's Laundry Soap is Another Man's Latte, or: Making Peace with Gain

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1nTZ3o/www.thesimpledollar.com/2009/09/03/21-ways-to-reduce-your-spending-without-making-your-life-miserable/

I have recently discovered this fabulous website, The Simple Dollar, which I recommend to anyone trying to save money, live more simply, retire debt, and build wealth.  The above post providing a laundry soap recipe, and another post on this website got me thinking.  One point that the writer makes is this: that Dave Bachman's idea of "the latte factor" might encourage people to deprive themselves of things that enhance their quality of life. Trent Hamm, instead, suggests thinking of "the laundry soap factor," meaning that it might be better to cut costs in areas that either do not significantly enhance one's quality of life, or that one feels neutral about, which for him included laundry soap.  I agree with his concept: if you are happy just to get your clothes clean and can save over $60 a year by making laundry soap on your own and are happy with the results, that's great.

What this discussion calls to mind for me, however, is how personal all of these trade-offs can be, and how each person rather than following various suggestions for saving money, needs to really look at what is important to him in the process. For example, I live in south Florida, which is beastly hot most of the year. The interior of the car at the end of the day was not a pleasant place to be. I noticed that switching to an expensive scented laundry soap, however, changed that and made a big difference in how our clothes (and car) smelled at the end of the day. In other words, it noticeably improved our quality of life. This was something that I really sat down and thought about, however, after reading Hamm's clear and easy step-by-step laundry soap recipe.  

This also speaks to the reality for me at least that since I have been spending less, living simply, tracking expenses, and essentially changing everything about the way I live after encountering the Daves (Allen & Ramsey: see earlier post on this topic), I see habits and possessions in a new way.  When life slows, money is spent cautiously,  the car driven infrequently, and possessions few, everything that remains takes on a startling clarity.  I see much more easily what means something to me and what doesn't, and why.  I have made peace, in other words, with Gain. After seeing how expensive it is, and wondering whether I would buy another bottle when this one runs out, I have now seen that this product does make a difference in our quality of life, and that I am at peace with paying for it, just as the latte drinker who values that item and experience, might consider making peace with that.

That said, I use the product consciously. I wash only large loads, and rewear clothes before washing them, when possible.  I use only as much soap as I need, ignoring the suggested fill lines on the measuring cap.  I buy it on sale and use coupons for it when I can find them.  In other words, in the same way that I have used this conscious intentionality to jettison products and habits from my life that no longer serve my financial goals, I have used it to keep this one, and will, as Hamm suggests, look for those areas which are not quality of life enhancers in which to save--that is to say, my "laundry soap factor."

Monday, July 26, 2010

Weird Grocery Event

I was in Publix today (Atlantic & Military in Delray), along with everyone else within miles, it seemed, and only 3 checkout lanes were open, one being a 10 item or less, which I couldn't use. The other 2 lanes had long lines, so I got into the line that seemed to be moving the fastest, and sure enough, on that score I chose well. As I stood there, watching the cashier ring people up, I noticed that to each customer, before starting to scan groceries, she asked, "Any coupons for me today?" I heard her do this with 3 customers. So, when I was up, and she was getting ready to scan my groceries, I handed her my one coupon. She took the coupon and stared at it as if it were fouled with something vile, and then looked blankly back at me.

So, I said, "You asked the customers ahead of me if they had any coupons, and I have a coupon." She said sort of miffed, "Well, I don't need THIS," as she waved it through the air. "I keep a copy of the circular right here and all I need is the coupon number; I don't need THIS," she repeated.  "Then why do you ask people if they have any coupons?" I asked. "In case they have some OTHER kind of coupons," she replied.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Daves

As what has proven to be my monastic poverty summer inspires me to use the library for diversion, I have discovered first on the web and then through their books, the two Daves who, if followed, could improve my life substantially. They are Dave Ramsey, author of Financial Peace and other titles, and David Allen, of Getting Things Done.  I heard about Allen from heathervescent whose youtube post demonstrating how to create a GTD (getting things done) notebook put me on to the existence of Allen's system. I then checked out his audio book (the only format available at the time) from the library, and put a hold on the paper copy. At around the same time (2 weeks ago, possibly), I watched another video by the compelling antishay who mentioned the snowballing method of eliminating credit card--and other forms of--debt popularized by Dave Ramsey. Although Financial Peace was checked out of my local library,  I was able to order from the main branch another of his titles, The Total Money Makeover which, supplemented by reading his website, explains the plan that he has created for getting out of debt and building financial security.

So, I created the GTD notebook, and am implementing Ramsey's plan. GTD helps me as its name suggests get things done and be more productive, reducing stress and clutter, which I have also tried to tame with the help of Peter Walsh's book It's All Too Much, which I also checked out from the library. I have made many trips to the Haven Thrift store here in Delray Beach, with donations of books, clothes and other items that I had purged to make room for clarifying space.  I have plowed through boxes of files and papers, and filled at least two trash bags with irrelevant stuff that I was saving for what purpose I don't know. I also took three identical bookshelves that I had bought at the Haven last summer, cannabalized shelves from the most damaged one, inserted those shelves into the other two so that they could hold more books, and asked my friend to make the third shelf into a a low-standing shelf where my son could drop his book bag and other stuff on returning from school each day. It looks great and now stands where the banged up shelf once stood, crammed with all sorts of children's books he'd outgrown and other junk.  On the wall above the shelf hangs his long board on two hooks, and this weekend's project is the construction and installation of a pegboard from which I hope to hang from hooks a lot of other items that now clutter my kid's room.  

The rest of the house is looking better too, but there is more work to go.  The GTD book helps to capture all of the plans, projects and tasks that need doing, both short and long term, as a cornerstone of Allen's thesis is that the human mind is not ideal for remembering things that need to be done and reminding us to do them at the right time. He is right at least for me that I remember that I need to do something not at the ideal time for doing it, such as at 3 in the morning when I can't sleep. By checking the GTD notebook frequently, and writing in every little thing that I need to do, I get more things done with less worry, and forgetfulness.

As to the other Dave, I am creating a zero-dollar budget, and am not spending any money that I don't need to spend. I'm accepting dinner invitations from friends, two this week alone, and am eating what food I have in the house even though it's not what I would choose to eat necessarily. I've reorganized the pantry so that I can see what I have, and now need to do a fridge cleanout and do the same. I'm not buying any clothes (which I rarely buy anyway), or books (using the library), renting movies (library again), and have collected all binders, folders, loose-leaf paper, pens and other school supplies from which my son can shop when he returns so that we don't have to buy supplies this year.  He can take the bare necessities until he gets syallabi and then we will shop the supply box before the store.  Of course the sad thing is that tax-free weekend falls before he will get his actual supply lists from the teachers. Oh well.

Although I was already making good progress on getting out of debt before I heard of Dave Ramsey (I have already paid off two credit cards this year), I really believe that I will make even more progress now with his zero-dollar budget and envelope plans.  I feel very hopeful right now, and encouraged about my progress in this area.  When my raise at work goes into effect next month, I will take that increase and use it to retire debt rather than increase my living standard, as I've done in the past.

I feel very hopeful now, thanks to the Daves.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Three Writers' Deaths Overshadowed

This has been a rough year for me where losing favorite writers is concerned, which is not to say that I knew any of them personally, but as any devoted reader knows, it's easy to feel attached to a writer after awhile simply by repeated close readings of his work.  The pain of these losses is worse, however, when these deaths are ignored by the press, or overshadowed by the death of someone even more famous at around the same time, and whom the press considers more important and more interesting to cover.

So, first came Louis Auchincloss on January 26, 2010.  Although he is a novelist, I  have read only his short stories, which are well-crafted works of art and genius.  His stories remind me of Woody Allen's New York movies in setting and the social class of his characters, and the loneliness and disillusionment epitomized by the stories and novels of Richard Yates.  I confess to having discovered Auchincloss in an ignominious way: on a car trip to USF to do some holistic scoring for the state some years ago, I stopped as I often did at the Goodwill store in Brandon, FL just outside Tampa where I picked up a hardcover, still plastic slip-covered, of "The Collected Stories of Louis Auchincloss" that had been withdrawn from the Tampa-Hillsborough County Library. I began reading the stories that very night in my hotel room, transfixed. Since then I've seen many of these hardcovers at booksales and thrift stores, so I guess they were remaindered from stores and pulled from library circulation in other places too. Well, in fairness to the Times, it did run a nice obituary about Auchincloss, but that seemed to be the end of it. Unless I missed it, one of those laurel-wreathed "Appreciations" at the bottom of the editorial page was not written about him, nor did I see articles in the arts section as sometimes appear following the death of a writer.

Say, like--J. D. Salinger, also who died on January 27, 2010, the day after Auchincloss.  You can see where this is going.  Everybody knows Salinger and has read "Catcher" as it is abbreviatedly called now, and practically everyone has read "Franny and Zoey" (when my son was about 2, we met a set of twins at the park one day, named Franny and Zoey--these are probably not the only ones, nor Seymours for that matter) and "Seymour, An Introduction," "Nine Stories," and "Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenter."  And he'd been a recluse and so on, so the press went absolutely nuts over him, giving Auchincloss, who might have on a slow news day possibly reached the attention of a few readers not familar with his work, no chance at all.

The same thing happened with poor Howard Zinn who YES also died on January 27, 2010. Unlike with Auchincloss, though, who did get a nice obit with a picture and lots of detailed biography from the Times, I frantically searched the papers for days for Zinn's obituary. Finally, I phoned the NYT, and the woman who took my call said that the obit had been published in the Metro section, not the front section. "The METRO section?" I howled. Her reason was that he was born in New York. Yes, I said, but he spent his life in and around Cambridge, MA and was a national and international figure.  He wasn't only a local. Well, she directed me to the online article, but it wasn't the same and I was very angry about this because I knew that it was all because the paper was in an absolute froth over Salinger and simply could not be bothered with poor old leftist Howard Zinn, despite a few mentions later, which did not make up in any way for the dearth of attention right after his death.

Which leaves us this week with Harvey Pekar.  He died on July 12, 2010, and George Steinbrenner the next day, the 13th.  Pekar got some press because he'd been on TV before ("Letterman") and had a movie made about him, and of course was a writer of comics, much more accessible to people than the the sometimes 40- page long stories of a writer like Auchincloss.  But even Pekar lacked a fighting chance despite these factors against a sports figure like Steinbrenner.  It doesn't matter what someone writes in America; sports will trump writing every time. I'm sure that Steinbrenner was important, but it just seems that Pekar's death is being overshadowed by Steinbrenner's, thereby preventing people from properly mourning, remembering, and perhaps even discovering him (beyond the movie, that is).

Another writer this year (April 25, 2010) whose death really stung was that of Alan Sillitoe, the UK's quintessential angry young man whose story of a borstal boy "The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner" captured a political mood and a social restlessness as well as any literary work ever has.  No larger death overshadowed his, and he was recognized in the Times with a nice obituary, but beyond that, I carried the sadness alone.  And that's been the hardest part of all of this, in a way.  To go to work, at a job where people supposedly are well read, and hear not a peep from anyone about Sillitoe, or Auchincloss, or Zinn.  There's no sense of community to commiserate with or reminisce with either about these authors.  There's nothing more depressing than telling someone you care about that one of your favorite writers died that day and hearing in response, "Who? Never heard of him."

So silently I recall the ways that these writers have spoken to me, and the nights I've spent reading their work, and the fact that their books are in easy reach, not in a far off room, and that I can put my hands on them right away, and that they are writers whose work I have not only read, but re-read, as I do now, after each death. I neatly scissor out each obituary, even (sigh) Salinger's, fold it up, and tuck it into the pages of one of that author's magnificent books, so that at least I will remember, even if no one else in my Delray world will.


Friday, June 25, 2010

Consumerism Fills Imagination Gap

Last night as I attempted my physician-ordered daily hour-long walk (to help speed healing after surgery, but which I should do anyway, of course), I observed two long lines in the middle of Town Center Mall: one spilling out of the Apple store, and then its continuation, beginning at the Starbucks kiosk, not too far away from this fountain. Badge-wearing Apple employees in blue polo shirts manned the lines and kept order among the ranks by chatting and offering pleasant updates on the line's progress. All of this I found out was because of the latest iPhone. Many of the folks in line waiting for the new iPhone passed the time, you guessed it, amusing themselves on their current iPhones, which obviously still worked. Among the people standing in line were a uniformed postman, and a woman on crutches and whose right leg was in a cast. Didn't the mailman have a hard enough day doing his job in over 90 degree heat? He wants to waste his precious evening standing in line in the mall for a phone? And the broken leg lady?  She's going to put herself through standing and hobbling through not one but two long lines just to get a new phone? 

Then in this morning's New York Times appear pictures of a young, healthy New York man, holding up his new iPhone as if it were a trophy, or an archeological find.  Another young man pictured in the paper had painted the word "iPhone" on his face. I found this all rather sad. It's not sad that people want the iPhone; we all want things, and by all accounts, the iPhone is a cleverly designed and useful device. What I find sad is that people want this device so badly that they are standing in these crazy lines, and wasting precious time that a few weeks from now would not need to be expended to buy this same item.  What's sad is that some people feel that the only way that they believe they are somebody is to buy something that, although for a short time, they will be among the few to own.  And yet even this is fallacious if you see how many people are standing in line to become "early adopters." How can they feel that they are unique or special in getting this phone now, as they stand in line with hundreds of others who are doing the same (and thousands of others if they consider other lines in other places)?  My friend's idea was that these people will be the first in their circle of friends to own it, but for how long? A few weeks? A month?  And then when all of their friends have the phone, too, what next will these people have to buy to distinguish themselves, to feel unique?

In place of the imagination that drives people to develop themselves, and become who they want to be or can be, some folks simply buy things.  The iPhone fills the gap created by a lack of  imagination, the imagination that otherwise inspires people to learn languages, play instruments, practice sport, art, science and business, and do many other fulfilling things.  These are things, too, that define one better than possessing a mass-produced device owned and a few years later discarded by millions of other people.  

Of course, the corporations benefit a lot from this state of affairs.  Once one device loses its ability to confer upon its owner a kind of uniqueness, then another device awaits him so that the cycle repeats, ad infinitum. The attention garnered by the early adopter arouses in his or her friends their desire to garner the same, spurring more sales, until the tipping point when so many people own the device that the cachet is now gone and society moves on to the next thing, repeating the process. This is not to say that everyone who buys an iPhone buys it to fill this imaginative void; many people probably simply like the product. It's hard to believe, however, that the people standing in line in Town Center yesterday were not craving something besides just the phone.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Latest Read (in progress): John Murray

I perhaps shouldn't discuss this since I've not yet finished it (this go-around anyway; I read it when I first bought an advance copy for $1 at the Miami Book Fair International in November 2003), but since each story is the length and density of a novella, it seems as if in finishing the first story, "The Hill Station," that I have completed something already.  I am now in the midst of "All the Rivers in the World," which is set oddly in Florida and Maine, the former, my home, and the latter where I spent a bit of time last July, and where my son will be leaving for a month on Sunday. Part of the story is set also in Rwanda (no personal connection there).

If Ethan Canin and Jhumpa Lahiri co-wrote a story, it would sound just like "The Hill Station." The medical knowledge and precision of Canin are here, as is Lahiri's skill at rendering the sights and smells of India through the eyes of a successful American born-daughter of Indian parents, who is reconciling her Indian roots with an American sensibility. It's medical without being clinical, and emotionally restrained without being cold. 

"All the Rivers in the World" finds medicine of diminished importance in the narrative, but the same precision and clarity of information remain, although this time concerning lobster fishing, hardware, and Florida currents; in short, Murray knows a lot about a lot. In this story, too, the central character is emotionally detached, but not so much so that he does not command some empathy from the reader. More soon to come.